Mistress Hrin's Granado Espada Blog

The One About The Monster Blender

I was writing an article for Playworks Magazine October issue about the wonders of Diego and his usefulness in Colony wars. It's a little sad that not many people realize the incredible potential of Diego. 3 Diegos can solo take down a colony within 10-15 minutes due to rotating blades' fast attack speed. This 10-15 minute timeframe has certain conditions though:

1) 3 Diegos must be equipped with 2 Great Rotating Rings each
2) Switch to 'Hack & Slash' stance after you have built your maximum number of Great Rotating Blades' and attack the colony - to maximize the number of hits to the colony.

The amazing thing is that you don't even need to train him to Level 100 since any damage to the colony only results in 1 HP decrease - all you need is to train him such that he gets 'Great Rotating Blades' skill.


Looking at those fineeee rotating blades reminded me of a blender I bought recently. Well, more like a Monster Blender, really, due to its traumatic background...

* * *

Lunch hour.

Had rushed down to Bugis Junction to buy a birthday present for my colleague, Ducky, since I had been too busy over the last few nights to go shopping.

Ducky is our copywriter for storylines for Granado Espada's background history & NPC backgrounds as well as the brains behind the GE Comics series. So after some careful thought, I felt that a pen would be most appropriate for him. After all, the pen is mightier than the sword and all that yada yada.

After I bought him this lovely black Parker Pen set with his name engraved in gold on it, I happened to pass through the household section and Braun's latest portable new blender caught my eye. As I was looking at it, the salesman comes up to me and beams,"Hello Miss! Would you like me to test it out for you?"

I shrugged casually,"Sure. Why not?"

He enthusiastically takes it out of the box and plugs it into the power socket, telling me excitedly about all the various items that it could blend. I was starting to wonder if he was going to tell me that it could blend an iPod. "

... and it has two speeds as well. High speed and low speed!" he says to me as he demonstrates by pressing two different buttons.

"Oh ok... which button is low speed and which one is high speed?" I ask him.

"Hmm... I'm not sure. Let me see..." he replies as he puts his hand under the blades of the blender to try to feel the wind currents it produces.

It all happened so quickly. Or maybe the shock of it blocked out the exact memory of it.

Somehow or other, the blade dislodges itself slightly and blends the palm of his hand! Blood splurts all over the place!

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I find myself shrieking in absolute horror. I feel absolutely faint. The sight of blood always makes me queasy and pale in the face.

"Can you please test out the blender for this lady here?" Mr Courageous Salesman says his last parting words to Salesgirl standing nearby, as he is being ushered away to E.R to get his hand stitched up.

ZOMG... Mr Courageous Salesman is so brave! So dedicated to his job! So professional! Even when his palm has been semi-blended... the blending show must still go on...

I do hope I can reach that standard of professionalism one day - if that day should ever come when I am vomiting blood on my deathbed, I will turn to KingKongJon (Level 100 boss) and say to him,"KingKongJon... please tell the Granado Espada community not to grief for me... Tell them that life in Cite De Reboldoeux must go on... Tell them to continue training levels to get to veteran! Then only will I die in peace..."

So anyway Salesgirl looks at the blood stained blender and then looks at him with this look in her eyes that says,"Are you crazy? There is no way in hell I'm going to operate on that demon-possessed monster blender!"

Nevertheless, she feels obliged to do something about the blood-stained blender. She carefully unplugs Monster Blender and cleans the blood off the the handles of the blender.

"Erm... you missed a spot..." I meekly tell her as I point to the bloody blades of Demon Blender.

She glares at me and I guiltily look down and shuffle my feet.

I had wanted to try to lighten up the gloomy, tense atmosphere by cracking a joke like,"Out damn spot! Out I say!" and mimic Lady Macbeth. But from her response, she probably wasn't the type who tried to humorize awful situations. And well... if she hadn't read Shakespeare's 'Macbeth', she prolly wouldn't appreciate my cold joke either. So I had better not go down that road man... She might set the Demon Blender on me or something.

"So do you want to buy the blender or what?" she snaps.

Sigh. Of course I will. I feel so overwhelmed with guilt about the incident. A good friend of mine always used to say that the God Of Drama favors me. For some strange reason, drama always seems to follow me wherever I go - sometimes good drama, sometimes bad drama. I think I have reached the phase of bad drama, though. I have used up all the good drama charges over the past couple of weeks. Mental note to self to lay low for the next few days and keep myself and everyone else associated with me far away from sharp objects and road-crossing incidents etc.

"Yeah... I will buy it," I say defeatedly.

Pause. Contemplative silence. I need to say something important to her.

I look sheepishly at her as I say...

".... Erm.. Could you get me a new blender?"